Okayest Baby Arrives In Style…And Diapers

Inconceivable, he says.

What is, the amount of diapers Okayest Baby (OB) soils in one day, Alex?

(Balloons fall from the rafters, confetti and streamers pop and stream, the crowd cheers.)

“You keep using that word. I do not think that word means what you think it means,” says Inigo Montoya. (I almost added, from Princess Bride, but quickly realized that if you didn’t connect those dots on your own we can’t be friends. And you shouldn’t be reading this blog. You should go watch The Princess Bride immediately.)

Voice over

Our intrepid adventurer, newly submerged in the throes of fatherhood, finds himself coaxing a half sleeping baby in the recliner, bottle held gently to his uncooperative lips (To be clear, OB’s lips, not our adventurer’s lips. Our adventurer does not drink milk out of a bottle. After all, he is an adventurer.)

Okayest Mom and I find ourselves two days shy of OB’s one month birthday. And yes, we celebrate monthly birthdays now. Why, you may ask? Well, fair reader, despite a previous penchant for hilarious pre-baby ribbing of new parents who celebrated monthly birthdays, we are now happily those parents. Similarly, before OB was born I had a total of around thirty total photos on my phone. I can neither confirm nor deny that now, officially minted the Okayest Dad, I average eleventy-billion photos per day. All of OB doing nothing but being a baby. We are not naive enough to think that the ‘do your best double chin’ or ‘new poop face’ picture is adorable to anyone other than myself and Okayest Mom. However, that does nothing to stifle the fervor of shutter clicks as we fawn over Okayest Baby.

The past 28-ish days have been riddled with the expectation-shattering realities of Parenting 101s and a panic-inducing and irrational fear that everything will break OB. Nor can he possibly sleep peacefully or safely without one of us watching him through the night, right? (Cue laughter and chiding from audience comprised of already-parents.)

The last expectation shattered worth mentioning in a long line of many is this:

Nevermind how many soiled diapers, sleepless nights or fussy moments OB has, the all-encompassing affection felt for a child of your very own is something you could never accurately anticipate. And affection because the mere four-lettered love doesn’t do the spectrum and range of concern, care and emotion due justice.

All in all, every day since his birth has been an Okay day filled with moments that define happiness in a way prior to Okayest Baby that we would have never been able to understand. The pages turn, chapters begin and end and as always, Okayest Mom and I look forward to sharing the adventure with you.

Until next time, this intrepid adventurer and his Lady bid you a good evening in search of the Okayest in life which ultimately define your happiness.

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The Adventures of Motherhood

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Fumbling through parenthood, life and sobriety

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