Milky Sneeze Bombs

 

ch861023If you’re interested in walking a day in my shoes, try these on for size…

Tip-toe from the kitchen to the living room with a cup of Airborne in one hand, a mug of slightly-less-than-hot coffee in the other and a baby monitor gripped between your teeth like a pirate with a knife…

And think to yourself:

Me: Really, Baby Gods? This is my day? (It sounds much more garbled around the baby monitor.)

Baby Gods: *chuckle and nudge each other, laughing at me from on high, each perched on their own frothy cloud of Perfect Baby Smiles and Giggles.*

Me: This was NOT in the brochure.

Truth be told, today was a good day and there is no brochure. Correction: It was a better day. I say that as to provide context to the past week as Rhett was struck solid with a cold virus. This beastly of all beasts virus ultimately transitioned into a case of loose dookies which subsequently got O.B. ejected from the daycare game. For the past week, we have been providing only the toppest of notch Huggins and Lovins in an effort to mend his backside destruction.

Despite my best efforts to dodge his milky sneeze bombs, I’m confident that a few made their mark (on my face) which brings us full circle back to the beginning with the tip-toeing and the Airborne.

All in all, over the past month or so I’ve made note of a metric ton of possible blog articles. Unfortunately, none of them wrote themselves overnight. Here are a few:

My Wife Tried To Assassinate Me Today. (True story. I barely escaped with my life.)

How Do You Explain Star Wars To A Baby? (I Googled this. No help.)

My Mom Texts Me, Pretending To Be My Father.  (This was a fun discovery.)

Did You Run Over The Christmas Lights?  (A game of Christmas Clue to find out whodunit.)

 

Your turn, frands! Which of these would you most like to read next???

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